But I realized that it was never about me, it was about him and his fucked up untreated mental illness.
It changed the way I see the world and definitely relationships. I’ll literally never understand how someone I was so close to and treated so well could turn so cold and cut me off like I was worthless trash. To this day I’m still struggling with the trauma he inflicted on me. I told him to fuck his apology, and the money he owed me, and blocked him. That was more painful than the initial breakup. And dropped a bomb that he had moved 3,000 miles away so he’d have to do it over zoom. Then, one year to the day he moved out he texted me out of the blue saying he was ready to make amends. I loved and waited for him without a single text or word for eight months, my heart breaking a little more every day. I was sure we’d be getting back together, I didn’t want closure, I wanted him and was so positive he loved me (maybe because he wrote that he did) and that once he was sober he would come back. He texted me that he was in rehab and wanted to give me closure and thought he’d be able to do that when he got to his amends step but didn’t know when that would be. Went NC again after that until he recognized something I posted on Reddit (we did not know each other’s user names and I still don’t know his). He admitted using drugs and was probably still using them. But when we did it was clear that he was still in denial.
Really got my hopes up and I cautiously agreed to meet. He called once, maybe a month or two after he moved out, just sobbing on the phone and telling me I didn’t deserve how he treated me. You may not promote your own communities or commercial ventures without prior permission. Because of this, please don't expect links to show up on the subreddit immediately.
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